Sorry it's been so long. I've been a bit, uhhh, busy? Oh who am I kidding, I have just been lacking inspiration! Now don't start thinking "Oh, this post is going to be inspired so it must be good!" WRONG. I'm still flat out of ideas so I'm just going to go with it.
Day 22 - A song you listen to when you're happy
L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N - Noah and The Whale
This is an anthem for anyone, so anything I'm about to say will not be new.
My friends, life goes on. No matter how crappy, how discouraging, it goes on. I've had a saying since I was about 15, "There is no alternative." As in, when people would look at me right after I had my back surgery and complication after complication would arise, they would always ask how I stayed happy, how I kept going. My answer, "There is no alternative". Sure I could give up. I could lay in bed and curse the day I decided to go through with the surgery, but why? Where would that get me? So I started studying the scriptures and found a reason to keep going. But things just kept coming. It kept getting more and more discouraging. But I kept going, even when I got so low I considered stopping, I kept going. And why? Because L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.
These days I'm faced with different trials. Sure my health is still poor and I struggle to even get out of bed in the mornings but I've fallen prey to another enemy entirely.
Jealousy.
Why you ask? Well you see, I know some people (they will know who they are as they read this, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but you probably already know I'm jealous), and these people are pretty cool. They thrive in one area where I seem to constantly crash and burn. The dating life. That's right. My last date was before my birthday 6 months ago. And the date I had before that? Well it was definitely more than a year and I only went on that date because the girl who was supposed to go bailed and then the other two back ups where unavailable. But the girls I'm talking about here are talking to guys all the time. I'm with one of them almost 24/7 and I have to watch as guy after guy practically throw themselves at her feet to go on a date, to get just a few hours of her undivided attention. And what are guys doing with me? Giving me a pat on the back and treating me like just another one of the guys.
If you go
here, you will read about blind spots. Yeah, I know that letting guys treat me as a friend is one of my blind spots. But how can I help it when sub consciously I'm thinking he's just going to end up liking one of my friends anyways? It's how it's always been. Yeah, I've gotten bitter about it, as you have read in a previous post. But at the end of the day and I'm laying in bed thinking about whether I did my best or not, I know that even if I didn't do my best and I pissed and moaned through the whole day, L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. I have a chance to try harder tomorrow. And when that moment of realization comes and I'm practically euphoric with the idea of a second chance, I think of this song.
So please, let your life go on. Don't stop and go crazy over a stupid little trial, whether you failed a test, missed a chance with a guy, had another birthday and feel old, or broke a leg and had to stop doing what you love, LIFE GOES ON!!! You'll have another chance tomorrow. Carpe the freakin' diem.
Love and Rockets,
Rodney
