You Cannibal Queen...

I have realized I've made a ginormous fool of myself. I need to make up for it. So here goes.

Rewind to May 21st, 2011. This is a glorious day. The day the rapture was to occur. But the big man upstairs knew that this day was far too important to end things on. You see, this was the day that dear sweet Whitney King came into the world 21 years ago. If you don't know Whitney you may as well just die. You haven't lived life if your life doesn't include Whitney.

Let me tell you a bit about Whitney. She is currently my best friend. We do pretty much everything together.

We drive to work, we drive from work, we work. That's about it.

Oh and we tie-dye together. It's precious.

My mom even babysits her niece. NEAT-O!

Sometimes we sing together. "Tell it to the volcano, from what I know your going down the hole!".

We go bowling sometimes and she ALWAYS puts her hand on her butt when she throws the ball. And she is even better bowling with her left hand. She always gets a better score.

One time she dated Lord Farquad, BIG mistake! But now she's semi-sorta-kinda dating my arch nemesis. He is the Newman to my Jerry. That sounds bad but it's not! Go watch Seinfeld!

Sometimes we plan trips. Disneyland, St. George, camping, Bear Lake, and the likes thereof.

One time we watched Ghost Adventures all night and got the pee scared out of us. Literally in Whitney's case...

We are going to become great at tennis this summer. All thanks to our friend Stacia.

We also plan on working out every saturday morning. He're we come Jillian!

We like to throw chalk at each other.

At work we are called the old married couple because all we do is argue. But don't worry, we are neither married or a couple!

We go to concerts. "I'd let him do anything he wants to me"

She and our friend Jen are going to sing Joshua Radin at my wedding while playing the bongo drums.

She wears homemade nylon shorts.

All the guys love her. Especially now that she looks like me.

She is addicted to Grey's Anatomy.

She probably likes long walks on the beach.

She owns a sexy car.

If you run her over in your car it would probably just feel like a speed bump.

And last but not least, she gets really excited when she's on a motorcycle.

So that's her. If you don't know her I feel bad for you. So get to know her, hit her up!

801-884-8063

Warning: That's not her real number so don't even try!!

And that's that.

Love and Rockets,

Rodney

p.s. Exactly 1 month from today we'll be headed to California!!!